


If Only You Saw Me

by softmorts



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Actually there aren't enough fics in general, Also there aren't enough fics where Arin's the one with the feels, I needed to write angst, M/M, but okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-26
Updated: 2014-04-26
Packaged: 2018-01-20 22:31:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1528043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softmorts/pseuds/softmorts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arin knows Dan doesn't see him as anything more than a friend. Even with all the hints and innuendos, he still doesn't get it.</p>
<p>And he probably never will.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If Only You Saw Me

**Author's Note:**

> Arin, if you see this, I am so, so sorry.
> 
> I am also sorry to anyone else who sees this.
> 
> This is what happens when my Fibro puts me in a sad mood: I write sad drabbles and I make myself more sad and it just kind of goes on.

    It hurts him.

    It hurts him so deeply, so intensely, that some days he can't even breathe. And it shows.

    He tries to hide it, he really does, but it's difficult, so he builds up a facade of innuendo and cautious flirtation to counter it, to put a mask over the feelings he knows so well because they're exactly what he feels for Suzy, and he loves her but he loves Dan as well and it kills him because he can't have them both. Suzy knows, he knows she does, and if she were to enter the grump room  _right now_ and tell him to get out because of it he honestly wouldn't blame her - but she doesn't. She isn't the kind of person who would do that, and he wonders how he ever got so lucky that such an amazing person would even look at him.

    How two amazing people would even look at him.

    He sighs and flops back on the couch, reaching back onto the arm for his notebook and pen from when he was doodling and watching Dan play Mario on their break earlier. The cushion to his left holds the faint, but present, scent of the older man, and Arin inhales and closes his eyes.

    He opens his book and begins to sketch mindlessly.

    He knows Dan doesn't think of him as anything more than a friend. He knows he never will. It makes sense, because Dan is straighter than an arrow, but it still hurts.

    So he draws. He draws to get away from everything, because he can't stand to think about unruly dark hair and brown eyes and that scent that could only belong to one person. He draws for ten minutes. And then he sets the book down and turns to the cushion that smells of Dan and he pulls it close and inhales again.

    It's in this position that he drifts off to sleep, and his last thought is his continuous wish: _I_ _f only you saw what I really feel. If only you saw **me**._

   But he knows he never will.


End file.
